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Food challenges with your child if they have additional needs

Top Tips and useful information to make food time easier.

Introduction

It is perfectly normal for toddlers to refuse to eat or even taste new foods. Do not worry about what your child eats in a day or if they do not eat everything at mealtimes. It’s more helpful to think about what they eat over a week.

 

The best way for your child to eat well and try new foods is to copy you, so it is important that you eat alongside your child when you can. Children learn from seeing their parents and other family members eating and enjoying a wide range of foods.

 

Any child can be a fussy eater. And all children will refuse food at some point. If your child is active and gaining appropriate weight, and they seem well, then they’re getting enough to eat.

 

However, refusing foods can be common if your child has additional needs.
Neurodivergent children particularly often experience senses such as the taste, smell, sight and feel of food in a different way to other children.

 

You might not be sure at first what it is that is making your child refuse foods or react negatively to them, or whether it is anything to be concerned about.

 

But if you are worried, talk to your health visitor or GP.

Parent/carers often ask:
  • My child is a fussy eater, should I be worried?
  • My child refuses food, how can I change this?
  • My child has meltdowns at mealtimes, what can I do?
  • My child often eats non-food items, should I be concerned?

Your child's behaviour around food

Issues with refusing food can include:

  • Being upset or overwhelmed by smells
  • Being upset by the sound of people eating
  • Being upset by loud noises such at the TV, washing machine or shouting
  • Disliking having different foods on the plate at once
  • Having foods on a plate touching each other
  • Disliking combined foods (like putting gravy on top of meat)
  • Preferring pale-coloured or beige foods
  • Getting upset at changes in routine or how food is served (on a blue plate instead of a white one or sausages with peas instead of sweetcorn)
  • Wanting to use a particular fork, cup, plate
  • Finding it hard to sit still to eat

In order to find out what triggers or overwhelms your child, try keeping a diary of behaviour around mealtimes and foods, so you start to recognise patterns – this might include:

  • Whether there is background noise or not
  • Where they are sitting
  • What plate they are using
  • How food is organised on the plate
  • Whether other people are eating noisily around them
  • Whether foods are presented differently or in new combinations
  • You give them something they were not expecting, or something that is new
  • Whether they are calm enough before mealtimes begin

Once you understand the pattern, you can start to plan around it to minimise some of the barriers.

Top tips and ideas

What can I do to help my child feel comfortable to eat?

You can follow some ‘rules’ depending on what exactly it is that is an issue for your own child:

  • Make sure food isn’t touching other food on a plate or use a separate plate for new foods
  • Use the same plate, cup and cutlery each time
  • Turn the TV/radio off or on – depending on what your child needs
  • Allow them to sit in a different space if necessary
  • Give small amounts then add more if wanted rather than overload the plate

Always try and avoid making meals a battleground. Try not to put pressure on them, and avoid getting stressed yourself, as they may pick up on your anxiety and be even less inclined to eat. Try to be patient and recognise it is likely to take time to change their behaviour.

Did you know?

Your child’s stomach is only the same as the size of their fist.

Portion Control

  • Remembering the size of your child’s stomach is quite small will help you keep the portions of food you give them at the right amount. Also remember that your child’s appetite will vary from day to day.
  • Give small amounts then add more if wanted rather than overloading the plate.
  • When your child shows you or tells you they have had enough, let them stop eating even if there is still some food left on the plate, as this stops them over-eating even when they have had enough.

My child eats things that are not food – should I be concerned?

Pica is the medical term for when children eat non-edible items. Common items that children with pica eat can include sand, chalk, playdough, clothing, faeces, hair and paper. Children below the age of 18 months often explore objects in their mouths. Due to this, pica is not diagnosed below the age of 2 years. Pica occurs more frequently in children with learning difficulties and is often associated with autism.

 

Seek help if you are concerned. For general advice on eating well, fussy eating and eating difficulties – see the range of useful weblinks on this page. If you are still concerned, keep a record of what your child eats – when, where and how often – and share this with your GP or Health Visitor.

HENRY

HENRY is a national charity that provides guidance, tips and training on helping families create a healthy start for their families. Visit their website for lots of useful information, recipes and other content.

HENRY - Healthy Start, Brighter Future

Useful sources of information and support

Baby and toddler meal ideas

If you need some inspiration to help you cook healthy and tasty food for your child, try these meal ideas on the NHS website.

Visit Website
Nutrition for toddlers

Learn what your toddler or pre-school child should be eating, and in what amounts from the British Nutrition Foundation

Visit Website
HENRY

HENRY is a national charity that provides guidance, tips and training on helping families create a healthy start for their families. Visit their website for lots of useful information, recipes and other content.

Visit Website
BBC Tiny Happy People-Fussy Eating

How to avoid mealtime battles

Visit Website
How to support your autistic child with food and eating

Food, eating and mealtimes in general can be difficult for an autistic child or young person. Family Action covers some of the reasons why, and what you can do to support your autistic child with food and eating.

Visit Website
Eating - a guide for all audiences

Eating a varied diet is good for your health, but many people don’t achieve this. Some autistic people have a restricted diet, eating only a limited range of food. Others may over-eat. This guide by the National Autistic Society explores common issues, including pica, and ways you can help.

Visit Website
Tips on sensory processing difficulties with food

Found on the SENDS website.

Visit Website
Understanding and managing pica

Dr Liz Shea from the Birmingham Food Refusal Clinic discusses pica (the eating of non foods) and highlights the story of James Frankish who sadly died from issues related to the condition. Dr Shea also offers some advice on supporting autistic people with pica.

Visit Website
Pica (eating non-edible items)

Guidance from NHS Cambridgeshire Community Paediatrics.

Visit Website
General Advice

The National Autistic Society is a charity that supports families – their advice and guidance section has a lot of useful information.

Visit Website
Fussy Eaters Video

‘How do I manage a fussy eater? (18 to 30 months)’ by the NHS.

Visit Website

Jargon Buster

Here are some terms or abbreviations you might come across:

Pica

The medical term for when children eat non-edible items. Common items that children with pica eat can include sand, chalk, playdough, clothing, faeces, hair and paper.

Sensory Overload

Sensory overload occurs when the brain receives more input from the senses—such as light, sound, touch, taste, or smell—than it can effectively process. When overwhelmed, the brain may react as if facing a threat, triggering a fight, flight, or freeze response. In children, this can lead to meltdowns or distress that may be misinterpreted as ‘bad behaviour’, rather than a sign of sensory overwhelm.

Sensory Processing Disorder

A neurological condition in children that can affect the way the brain processes information coming in from the senses. They may be extra sensitive to sensory input (hypersensitivity) or not react to it at all (hyposensitivity).

ASD/C

Autistic Spectrum Disorder / Condition.

Neurodiversity

A framework for understanding how people think, learn, and behave. Most people are neurotypical, meaning their brains function as expected by society. However, it’s estimated that around 1 in 7 people are neurodivergent. Neurodiversity covers a wide range of conditions, including dyslexia, dyspraxia, ADHD, and autism.

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