By Duncan, ABSS Parent Champion

My name is Duncan, and I am a 42 year old man with a 2 year old son. I am also happily married, with a 10 year old stepson too. My wife works full time, so since my youngest son was born, I have been a stay at home dad working part time.

I volunteer with A Better Start Southend as a Parent Champion for my ward, and I have been given the opportunity to have a say in meetings that are helping shape services for early years in Southend. When I go to these meetings, my boy is lucky enough to be able to go and play in Crèche, making it easier for me to engage with the programme. It is also fantastic for his social and emotional development too! As part of my role, I have also joined in some great activities and social events for the little ones, the parents, and the whole family, such as Family Days in the local parks, Football for Toddlers and many more! Being involved has got me out of the house, which helps with my state of mind as well.

But no role in my life has been as rewarding as being a dad. I am home with my boy every day, and he’s awake for up to 14hrs a day, 7 days a week. That means I’m with him for over 90 hours a week! We supported him through potty training this year, which I was initially petrified of, as I though I’d be swimming through dirty clothes, beds and ruined furniture! In the end, it was nothing to be worried about. We found that he learned a lot himself, and we just had to guide him, which is what being a parent, and a dad is all about. That’s the best thing about being a parent; noticing that your child has learned something – no matter how small – and realising you helped them do that!

My boy loves his mum and dad, and everything is easy and doable for him when we’re around. A parent – especially a dad – is a safety net and can help a child develop and thrive.

At this age, having a child is like having 2 full time jobs at the same time! Although it’s generally a positive experience, it’s a tough ‘job’! As a male parent, I find I am generally the law and order of the house, but also the one doing the stupid things the kids love, which is fine by me!