Feeling low after having a baby?

Find out more about Perinatal Mental Health.

Introduction

Having a baby is a major life event that brings a whole mix of different emotions – love, joy and excitement, but also frustration, anxiety, and nervousness. It is therefore quite normal to experience both highs and lows during the first weeks, as you adjust to the many physical and emotional changes involved in caring for a new baby and navigate being a new parent.

It takes time to adjust to this big change to your life. The constant demands
of a newborn, such as feeding, changing nappies, cuddling and soothing, can
sometimes feel quite overwhelming, and they can leave you very little time for
yourself and your normal daily activities. While meeting your baby’s needs and caring for them is obviously vitally important, looking after your own wellbeing and making space for self-care is important too.

The ‘Baby Blues’

Many parents can feel quite low or can experience some postnatal depression or anxiety within days, weeks, or sometimes even months after the birth of their baby. You might feel ‘guilty’ for not enjoying these early days in the way that you feel you ‘should’. Even though postnatal depression is now quite well known, women can still feel ashamed or embarrassed about admitting to having difficult feelings after they have had a baby. People often expect women to see motherhood as a time of joy and excitement. Or people might say things like “Don’t worry, you’re just tired.” This type of response from others can make it even more difficult to admit that there is a problem.

Feeling like this is much more common than people realise and can it affect how you feel about caring for your baby or how you connect with other people around you. Over half of all new mothers will experience what is known as the “baby blues.” Symptoms of the baby blues include feeling tearful, irritable, and overwhelmed at times and it can sometimes last for about 2 weeks after having a baby.

What is perinatal mental health?

Perinatal mental health (PMH) refers to mental health and wellbeing during pregnancy and up to one year after the birth of the baby.

In other words, it refers to the emotional and psychological wellbeing of birthing parents during this vulnerable period. Some parents may experience anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions related to pregnancy or early parenthood. Perinatal mental health problems affect up to 27% of new and expectant mothers and cover a wide range of conditions—including antenatal depression, postnatal depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and eating disorders, varying in levels of severity.

Remember you are definitely not alone, and there is lots of advice and support available to help you feel understood, supported, and empowered — whatever you’re going through. Reaching out is a brave and important first step to take , and be assured that there are people and services ready to walk alongside you.

Introduction to perinatal mental health

A a useful video by the Maternal Health Alliance that explains perinatal mental health a little more.

Health visitors

Health visitors are trained nurses or midwives who have specialist training to support you in the community until your baby is five years old. They will visit you at home for a new birth visit when the baby is 10-14 days old, then between 6-8 weeks old, and invite you to a local child health clinic for your baby to be weighed regularly and the opportunity to discuss any concerns.

They will support you with advice about growth and development, feeding, starting solids, or any other worries that you have, and can direct you to where to get extra help if you need it.

You can call the health visitor office on 01702 534911 Monday- Friday ex. bank holidays or you can also email: MSEICB-S.Southend0-19PublicHealthServiceAdmin@nhs.net

Guidance for Family and Friends of New Parents

If you are a parent, family member, or friend of someone who is having, or has had a baby, there is a wealth of valuable information in this booklet designed to give support on the journey through pregnancy, birth, and early parenthood for both the birthing parent and for you too.

Whether you’re looking for practical advice, emotional support, links to services that can help, or ways to better understand what your loved one might be experiencing, these resources can help you navigate this important time together. It’s so important to check in with your partner regularly to ask how they are feeling to help you both be more aware of any specific problems that might need extra support.

Supporting a new birthing parent can sometimes feel overwhelming, but having the right information empowers you to provide the right care, understanding, support and encouragement. Encourage her to talk about how she is feeling, just listen and allow her space to talk through her worries and feelings, providing as much comfort and reassurance as you can.

You also need to take care of your own wellbeing if you are a partner/non-birthing parent, as the journey can affect everyone involved – and you should also seek help if you feel you need it.

Useful Articles

Mind

Advice on supporting your partner.

Tommy’s

Looking after your mental health after baby is born – for dads and partners

Mind

Can fathers and partners get postnatal depression?

Self-Care for New Parents

Becoming a new parent is a wonderful time but it can be a challenging time too. It’s normal to feel stressed or overwhelmed at times. Taking care of yourself during pregnancy, and in the months after birth, is therefore essential, in order to support your own mental and physical wellbeing. This helps to prevent difficulties from developing or from getting worse.

Taking steps to care for yourself helps create a healthier, more positive environment for you and also for your baby during this important time. Here are some ways for you to support this vital self-care.

Building a Support Network

Connect with family, friends, and local community groups. Having people to talk to and lean on can make a big difference in how you cope with the ups and downs of parenthood. This can help you to get some practical help and to make some time for yourself too.

Having a local support network can make a big difference during early parenthood. This network might include friends and family. It can also grow through meeting other parents at local groups like new parent support sessions or stay-and-play groups.

Meeting up and sharing experiences with other parents or going to supportive groups can reduce any feelings of isolation and help you feel understood and less stressed.

Making Connections: One of the easiest ways to meet other parents is by attending local drop-in groups. These sessions are often held at Family Centres and other community spaces, creating welcoming environments where you can connect, share, and feel emotional and practical support.

Talking with other parents who are going through similar experiences can provide much-needed emotional support. Sharing how you feel often reveals that other people have had similar thoughts and emotions to you. This helps you feel less isolated and comforted that you are not the only one struggling like this.

Research shows that peer support can reduce feelings of depression and anxiety in new parents. Peer supporters also offer practical advice and emotional encouragement, which can boost your confidence in your new role as a parent.

If you’re finding it hard to build a support network in person, don’t worry—online communities and specialist organisations can also offer valuable connection and understanding. Feeling lonely as a parent is very common , so it’s important to find ways to connect that feel right for you.

There are lots of online communities where you can share your experiences of being a parent – websites like netmums have forums where you can talk to other parents. You could also try Side by Side, Mind’s online peer support community.

Southend Family Centres

Family Centres offer a variety of free sessions, services and courses to children aged 0 to 5 years and their families.

Providing play sessions, information workshops and parental support from pregnancy. The Family Centres are the hub of services, information and advice for you and your family during the early years. For more information have a look at Southend City Council’s Family Centres page.

Southend Family Centres website

Prioritising Rest and Good Nutrition

Tiredness is very common with a newborn, and tiredness can worsen any feelings of anxiety or low mood. It’s okay to slow down and not get everything done. Housework is something that other people can do, and they are often glad to be able to help you.

Remember, your baby and your wellbeing are the two things that matter most. Try to ensure you take a daily rest—a short nap, lying down on your bed, a soak in the bath, a cup of tea and a book or magazine, or watch an episode of your favourite TV programme.

It is also important to eat nourishing foods. Aim for a balanced, healthy diet with regular meals that include carbohydrates to keep your blood sugar steady. This can help stabilise your mood and reduce anxiety. Keep well hydrated too.

Practicing Mindfulness Techniques and Breathing Exercises

Deep, gentle breathing can help calm tension and reduce stress. Breathing exercises are especially helpful during moments of anxiety or overwhelm, and they are safe to use during and after pregnancy.

Mindfulness techniques involve practices that help people become more aware of the present moment, including mindful breathing, mindful eating, and mindful walking. These techniques cultivate a deeper connection with your own thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations which can help reduce stress.

Mindful Walking

Walking can reduce stress, especially in the fresh air – you can walk with your baby in the pram or a sling. You can also try mindful walking: become aware of your body’s movement as you walk, noticing the sensations of your feet on the ground and the rhythm of your breath. Walk slowly and intentionally, paying attention to your surroundings.

This can increase your body awareness, which in turn improves focus and reduces stress and anxiety.

Mindful Breathing

Box Breathing

Box breathing, also known as square breathing, is a breathwork technique that involves inhaling for a count of four, holding your breath for a count of four , exhaling for count of four, and holding it again for a count of four. This pattern of 4 makes us think of the sides of a box, hence the name. It’s a simple yet effective method for reducing stress and anxiety, and can really help you to relax.

Recognising when you need some extra help

It’s normal to experience a mix of emotions after having a baby, but if feelings of sadness, anxiety, or overwhelm start to increase or become more difficult to manage, it could be a sign of a perinatal mental health problem that needs support.

If these emotions begin to interfere with your everyday life—making it hard to care for yourself or your baby, affecting your relationship with your baby and/or with others, or leaving you feeling constantly distressed—it’s very important to reach out for support.

Perinatal mental health challenges can develop gradually or appear suddenly, and recognising when your feelings are becoming harder to cope with is a crucial step towards getting the help you need. Early support can make a big difference for you and your family’s wellbeing.

If you feel you are struggling to bond with your baby in any way, please contact your health visitor or consider the Together with Baby service.

If you feel you may have depression, then please do seek help. Depression is a mental health condition. It is not a sign of weakness or something that you can, or should, ‘just snap out of’. The good news is that postnatal depression can be treated with the right care and support.

So trust yourself – you are the person who knows best whether your feelings are normal for you, and whether a bit of help is needed.

Talk to your health visitor or GP if you think you have any symptoms of depression, and they last for more than 2 weeks. Tell them how you feel. They understand that depression is a mental health condition and will not judge you. They will focus on helping you find the right treatment and support so you can take care of yourself and your baby.

If you find it difficult to talk about your thoughts and feelings, try writing down how you feel and what you want to say, or you may want to have someone with you. The important thing is to let someone know, so that you can get the right help as soon as possible. 

Useful Articles

Mind

Postnatal and antenatal depression

EPUT

Together with Baby (Essex Parent Infant Mental Health Service)

NHS

Coping with stress after having a baby

NHS

Postnatal depression

Perinatal mental health symptom checker

Being aware of common “red flag” symptoms of perinatal mental illnesses will give you the best chance of spotting them in yourself or someone you know. Download this useful symptom checker by Maternal Mental Health Alliance

Perinatal mental health symptom checker

Understanding Relationship Challenges

Becoming a parent can often put a strain on relationships, regardless of how positive they were before your baby was born. You are tired and have less time to spend with your partner, or your family and friends than you did before your baby arrived.

However close you were before the baby was born, your partner can’t read your mind. Both your lives are changing, and you have to talk about it. You and your partner need to tell each other what you want and what’s bothering you if you’re resentful, angry or upset.

If you’d like to talk to someone who’s not a friend or a member of your family, there are lots of ways you can contact a relationship counsellor. Some are free but not all are, so check first:

Relate – the charity offers many different types of relationship counselling
Click Relationships – this online relationship support includes the Listening Room, a free live chat service where you can talk to a trained counsellor.

Visit Relate's Website

Staying Safe

If you are experiencing physical or verbal abuse, or are experiencing controlling or coercive behaviour, it’s important to know you’re not alone.

For some women, pregnancy or the arrival of a new baby can be a time when these behaviours begin for the first time, or start to become more intense or frequent. That can feel frightening, confusing, and isolating. Reaching out for support is a brave step, and be assured that there are people who will listen and help without judgment.

If you are feeling unsure if your relationship is a healthy one, then visiting the Women’s Aid website may help you.

It’s important to know that none of this is your fault, and you and your baby both deserve to feel safe, respected, loved and supported.

There are people who understand what you’re going through and want to help — gently, and without judgment. Whether you’re ready to talk now or just need to know where to turn if the time comes, support is here for you. If you do feel that you are in, or feel you may be in, an abusive relationship and need advice, help or support contact The National Domestic Abuse Helpline. It is open 24/7 for free and confidential advice. Telephone: 0808 2000 247.

Visit Women's Aid's Website

Learn more about The National Domestic Abuse Helpline

Support Services for New Parents

Here are some useful tips and guidance for general self-care and wellbeing during and after pregnancy:

Maternal Mental Health Alliance

Mental health and wellbeing tips during and after your pregnancy.

Mind

Self-care tips for pregnancy and after having a baby.

Action for Children - Parent Talk

Looking after your mental health with a new baby.

BBC

Mental health for new parents.

Shout

Shout is the UK’s first and only 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis. Get free, confidential mental health support anytime, anywhere. Text ‘shout’ to 85258.

PANDAS

A charity which provides a trusted support service for parents suffering with perinatal mental illness, including antenatal (when you are pregnant and before your baby is born) and postnatal (after your baby is born) depression. Services include:

A WhatsApp messaging service
Email support
Social media and Facebook groups
A free, bookable call service.You select a suitable time between 10am- 8pm and one of thetrained PANDAS volunteers will call you to give you the help and support you need
Help with self-care, how to approach your GP, and links to other organisations that can help

South East Essex Mind

Provide counselling and a range of support resources. Call 01702 601123. Also:

Useful NHS Pages

Healthwatch Southend

You can contact: info@healthwatchsouthend.co.uk

Parents 1st UK

They offer peer support through pregnancy, birth and beyond to help parents in , feel supported, confident and prepared for the journey ahead. Their Pregnancy Pals and Birth Buddies staff and volunteers all have lived experience as parents, including with prenatal (antenatal) and postnatal depression. They offer 1:1 support and encouragement for parents feeling overwhelmed, isolated or finding it hard to access services – this can be face to face, text/WhatsApp or telephone or a mix of all.

You can self refer or be referred to them by a professional, such as a midwife or health visitor. You can complete their online form or simply give them a call: 01268 525 758. Their office opening times are Monday to Friday, 9am until 5pm.

Alongside their 1:1 support, we offer a range of groups and classes.

SAVS Community Support Directory

A useful directory has a range of local organisations under various categories, giving access to different support services which may help you.

Southend Supports Breastfeeding

As not every family will have the choice to breastfeed exclusively or continue breastfeeding, at Southend Supports Breastfeeding all infant feeding choices are considered and supported. Their website has an interactive map of breastfeeding friendly venues that have signed up to the scheme.

Therapy For You

If you want to talk to someone, Therapy For You (NHS Talking Therapies) offers free and flexible access to therapies, in Southend, Castle Point and Rochford. This includes cognitive behavioural therapy and counselling for people experiencing common everyday problems including depression, anxiety, bereavement, trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder and specific phobias.

You can access the range of online treatments immediately. If you need more help, they can arrange access to Psychological Wellbeing Practitioners, Counsellors and Cognitive Behavioural Therapists both remotely and in person, after a short telephone assessment with a qualified practitioner.

Referral information:

The service to available to anyone over the age of 18 who lives in Southeast Essex or over the age of 16. Members of the public can self-refer via the website or by calling 01268 739128 in south east Essex.

Reach Out for Mental Health

A free phone-based service for adults living in Southend, Essex, and Thurrock.

Call or text 07308 069 609 or Email info@reachoutfmh.co.uk

You can talk in confidence, with a friendly, trained local person. The service is available Monday to Friday 9am to 7pm.

Anxiety Society

A local Facebook peer support group run by and held for people that suffer with anxiety, worry, depression, low mood or any other mental health conditions in Southend-On-Sea and surrounding areas.

This support group is a place where you can speak openly and support each other without discrimination or judgment. Sometimes just knowing that there is someone there to listen who is going through something similar is a great help. You can learn new coping techniques from each other. This is a confidential space, and anything that is shared in this group must not be discussed with anyone outside the group.

Trust Links

Provide community based support for people with mental health problems in Southend. Call 01702 213134. The Wellbeing Hub and the Recovery College provide:

Trust Links also offers:

NHS Inform

Has information about identifying, treating and managing mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety.

NHS Inform

There is also a section specifically on post-birth problems.

WYSA App

The WYSA APP is a chat AI tool with over 100 self-care resources. There is also a paid option to access psychology sessions and support. It offers:

Non-judgmental safe space: Share what's on your mind without fear of judgment. WYSA provides a private and secure environment where you can express yourself freely.
Emotional support anytime, anywhere: Whether it's day or night, WYSA is always ready to support you. The chatbot is designed to help you navigate your thoughts and feelings with empathy and understanding.

Domestic Abuse Support Services

Women’s Aid

Women’s Aid aims to empower women who have been affected by domestic abuse to live independent lives free from fear and abuse. Their website has a number of useful links and information.

Safe Steps Southend

We know that it can be difficult to tell someone what is going on at home or in your relationships. Our trained, friendly members of staff are here to support you. Their main concern is your safety. All support and advice is confidential and free of charge. Tel: 01702 302333

Compass

Compass is a Domestic Abuse Helpline to access Community Based Services and Specialist Accommodation in Essex. The Compass helpline is available 8am – 8pm weekdays and 8am – 1pm weekends. Outside this time, you can leave a message to receive a response within 24 hrs. Tel: 0330 333 7444

Galop

Offer emotional and practical support for LGBT+ people experiencing domestic abuse, hate crime and sexual violence. Tel: 0800 999 5428

Beacon House

Provide a range of free resources around coping with trauma and stress, including some aimed at parents.

Other Support Services

Samaritans

Whatever you’re going through, a Samaritan will face it with you. You can call any time, for free. Available 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year. Call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org

NHS 111

If you need help about a mental health issue and it isn’t an emergency, NHS 111 will tell you the right place to get help. Visit the online service or telephone 111 and select option 2 for mental health support.

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)

Ring CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day). If you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service. They also have lots of trusted tools, information and advice for anyone struggling with navigating issues that can make them feel miserable, particularly if you feel things are escalating.

Early Years Alliance Family Corner Website

Visit this website which is packed full of useful articles on child development, communication, learning through play and activity ideas.

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