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Toilet training for children with additional needs

Guidance and tips on for when the time is right to start toilet training.

Introduction

Having a learning or physical disability doesn’t mean a child can’t be toilet trained. Most children can learn to become clean and dry with time, patience, and the right support. Toilet training is an important life skill, and every child progresses at their own pace.

 

It is important to have a gentle, patient and positive approach to toilet training.

 

Toilet training is a big step for both you and your child, and it’s important to approach it in a way that feels manageable and positive. Every child is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline — it’s about finding the right moment that works for your child and your family.

Parent/carers often ask:
  • Can my child start school if they are still in nappies?
  • My child has continence issues – where do I get help?
  • How do I approach toilet training with my child who has SEND?

Top tips and ideas

Start toilet training when you feel ready

There’s no rush, and there’s certainly no pressure. Some children will take a little longer, and that’s absolutely fine. The most important thing is creating a calm, supportive environment where they feel safe and encouraged to learn, and where they can go at their own pace.

Be prepared for accidents

Some accidents will happen — that’s a normal part of learning. Try to keep things light, patient, and reassuring, and don’t expect things to happen in a fixed timeframe. The more relaxed you are, the more confident your child will feel to get there.

Is my child ready?

Every child shows readiness in their own way, but here are a few signs to look out for:

  • Showing interest in what’s happening in their nappy (e.g. pulling at it or pointing to it)
  • Using words, facial expressions, or gestures to indicate they’ve gone or need to go
  • Going to a quiet or ‘private’ place to do a wee or a poo
  • Staying dry for longer periods, or waking up dry after naps

Helpful Tips to Support Success:

  • Make a simple plan and share it with everyone who cares for your child, so they can offer the same support and consistency
  • Break the process down into small steps, one at a time, and celebrate each one
  • Let your child take small steps toward independence — for example, helping with the final bit of pulling their trousers down
  • Focus on encouragement and praise, not pressure
  • Try not to comment too much on accidents — and especially avoid any negative response – accidents are part of learning, and a calm response helps your child feel safe
  • Stay realistic, positive, and patient – and where possible, bring a sense of humour! — this can help everyone feel more at ease during this process

Where can I get help with continence issues?

Contact the continence team for toileting products and support by visiting theeir website.

Visit Website

Above all, be kind to yourself. Toilet training can be a learning curve for both of you, but with patience and encouragement, your child will get there in their own time.

 

It is also important to communicate well with your child’s nursery or school if they attend, to share progress and any challenges, and also to ensure consistency of approach across everyone. Remember to send spare clothes, plastic bags to put any wet clothes in.


You might also want to use visual aids, chart, photos or pictures to help your child understand the process. This may be particularly useful if your child is autistic, as using a predictable routine will help.

Let's Go Potty

Let’s Go Potty is an evidence-based 3 step approach on the ERIC website which you could also follow. It begins with preparation to use the potty, next is practising potty skills before eventually stopping using nappies as your child gains confidence.

Let's Go Potty Website
Let's Go Potty Podcast

Video and website links

Guidance from Gina Davies

This is the Gina Davies’ video guide to toilet training your child with additional needs. It is just under an hour long, really helpful – and broken down into manageable sections, so grab a cup of tea and a notepad and enjoy!

The Poo Nurses: discusses constipation and soiling issues

Parent’s Story

My son was due to start nursery (attached to a school) on the term after his 3rd birthday. He was on the ASD assessment pathway but not yet diagnosed.

 

I was really struggling with toilet training him, as he would get very distressed when he was asked to use the toilet/potty and had some sensory issues around transitioning from pull ups to pants. I was told that the nursery he was joining did not take children that weren’t potty trained, as they didn’t have the provision to be able to change them. This made me start to worry that I may have to look at other options for my son or have to keep him home until he had cracked it.

 

After speaking to some friends, I decided to go to a SEN support coffee morning, to see if I could find out any further information on this subject and was pleased to hear that the nursery could not refuse to take my child because he wasn’t potty trained.

 

I made an appointment to speak with the nursery and a plan was agreed that my son would be assisted by them to help potty training while in the setting. They asked me to provide plenty of pants/changes of clothes and they would take him to the toilet at regular intervals.

 

As time went by, my son started to wear pants into school (after trying out a lot of different types of underwear) and although there were accidents in the beginning, he is now potty trained and out of pull ups day and night.


I would always ensure that you speak to your child’s nursery/school, get a plan in place and make sure you know where to go to get advice and support. Help is out there!

Useful sources of information and support

ERIC website – Tips and strategies

Lots of information and advice for parents on toileting at school and the impact school toilets have on children’s health and wellbeing. Lots of topics covered such as constipation, toilet anxiety, potty training approaches and much more. They also have a free helpline 0808 801 0343.

Visit Website
Livewell Southend

Toilet training advice, support and early intervention from the age of 18 months where it is known or anticipated there may be difficulties with toilet training.

Visit Website
Southend Family Centres

Southend Family Centres offer a variety of free sessions, services and courses to children aged 0 to 5 years and their families, including play sessions, information workshops and parental support from pregnancy. The Family Centres are the hub of services, information, support and advice for you and your family during the early years.

Visit Website
Continence Team

Toileting products and support.

Visit Website
Gina Davies – Tips and strategies

Tips and strategies.

Visit Website
7 top tips for potty training children with additional needs

By the BBC.

Visit Website
Help with toilet anxiety

By Andrex.

Visit Website
Bladder and Bowel UK

Supporting bladder and bowel health for everyone.

Visit Website
Guidance for early years settings on supporting toilet training

How to support babies and young children with toilet training in your early years setting.

Visit Website
Toileting - a guide for parents and carers

This guide provides some useful steps that will hopefully make your toilet training a success.

Visit Website
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