ABSS Parent Champion Kathryn shares her story of maternal mental health, finding support through our Specialist Health Visitor for Perinatal Mental Health team and Mindful Mums Group and now being, “on my way back to feeling myself”.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. As someone who is new to Southend, my village is very small. I have made a few friends since moving to the area and playing rugby, however, since trying to conceive, my pregnancy and having a newborn I have stepped away from the sport. I have stayed in touch with some of the ladies, but found giving up the game quite tough and compounded my feelings of loneliness.

I am generally a happy and optimistic person, but since becoming a mum I have become acutely aware of my small support system. The feelings of loneliness often arise at unexpected moments and inadvertently through the kindness of strangers. For example, the nurse from the operating room just before my caesarean asked if she could give me a “mum hug” because I should have one. This was very welcome and so kind of her.

The last few years have been tough for me with unexplained infertility and a pregnancy loss in the middle of the national lockdown. I didn’t realise it at the time, but the cumulative traumas I had experienced and not resolved would weigh heavily on me once my daughter arrived.

Even though my birth plan had been scrapped, she latched on and I was able to breastfeed well despite her tongue tie. But by day 6 she had lost 12% of her body weight and had jaundice. The Health Visitor sent us to hospital so she could be monitored and we spent three nights there. The team in Neptune Ward were so kind but the sleeplessness and worry for my daughter made me feel beside myself.

At about six weeks, our Health Visitor came to see us and asked a simple, “and how are YOU?”. After I unloaded all the recent highs and lows, she asked me if I wanted to speak with a Specialist Health Visitor for Perinatal Mental Health. I am so grateful that she did, because the mental health support I received was invaluable. In addition to home visits, I also went on a waitlist and was shortly added to a group called “Mindful Mums” which was incredibly helpful in those early days. I gained some invaluable tools and made some good friends.

I am so glad I am now aware of what is out there to support new parents. At the end of last year my company went through a restructure and my life was thrown into chaos. I reached out to the Specialist Health Visitor team and they have been able to support me through this transition. I also saw my GP who has been working with me to find the right plan.

Becoming a Parent Champion with A Better Start has been amazing. In addition to the helpful training opportunities, I have really enjoyed the sense of purpose I get from contributing. I feel connected to the local community and like that in some very small way I can give back.

And while all things take time, I can now confidently say that I am on my way back to feeling myself. If the last 18 months has taught me anything, it is the need to take care of myself. We would all give the world for our children, but you cannot pour from an empty cup. We need to make time for ourselves.

To find out more about Mindful Mums, visit their Facebook page HERE.
Find out more about the Specialist Health Visitor for Perinatal Mental Health Team HERE.